I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
