im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
