Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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