Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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