office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
