Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
The ass gains better be worth it
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