This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize