i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
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