My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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