So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
false alarm. still invincible.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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