I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
