girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
