About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
My balls are so social today.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Randomize
