shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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