They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Randomize
