Whod you bang
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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