I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Randomize