I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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