Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
