Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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