Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize