i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Randomize
