well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
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