i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
