i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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