I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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