You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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