So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
