i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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