well he's currently spooning the coffee table
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
how drunk are you?
Several
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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