Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
she looked like the before picture.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
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