so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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