Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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