you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
