love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
