In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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