Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
