Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
All I want is dick and wine.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
