just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
