Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize