yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
