Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
he thought i was a dude.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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