We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
