glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
