so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
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