Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
