I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
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