nut hugger
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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