I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
How's work?
Spinning.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
