What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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