The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
