Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
