I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Randomize
