I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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