Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
