when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
