Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
