I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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