Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
