ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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