My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
