i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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