I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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